Back to Work Ladies!

Well, my loyal readers, it is back to work for me.  Putting the past behind, looking ahead to a bright future ... at least until early January, when Congress gets another Big Chance to mess things up!

So, I say party on.  And by 'party', I mean the Independent Party.  I can no longer associate with weirdos and nut jobs - whether they be donkeys, elephants, or my ex.

I think that I will take up gardening or animal's rights (really, PETA, the photographer insisted I wear that fur coat just for the pic!) to focus my time.  How does "My Fanny on Flowers" sound for my next post?

Government Shutdown & Maxing our Credit Card

So, here we are, DAY 15 (dun, dun, dun, dun)... I certainly feel poorer - still non-essential apparently - but, do i feel the weight of a non-exhistent government bearing down on my life?  Um, no, not really.  But, but, but, you say, what about the debt ceiling?  We are about to hit the debt ceiling -- then, all of our surviveralist, Y-2-K'esk fears come roaring down on us.

Summary of Problem:  We (America) have lots of debt (BIG credit card balance), and we (America) cannot seem to (metaphorically) get out of bed in the morning and get to doing what needs doing. 



Proposed Solution:  We (America) file Chapter 13 or 11 (which ever gets us free from all that terrible debt) - everybody in Congress is telling us we are insolvent anyway.
 AND then we (America) shutter our doors and head out to backpack across Europe.


Sort of work as you go thing - maybe hire out our Agg department to a country that is experiencing a famine; send our military out to help pacify a skirmish -- but, here is the novel idea, we charge $$ for our labor!  No more debt, we'll have broadened our horizons and helped others along the way, and maybe then we will be at least a bit wiser (anything would be an improvement)!

Want a Cookie - get a Berger!

Very punny!  For those of you who are (both) fortunate and unfortunate enough to live far away from Baltimore, MD, you may not know about the Berger that is a cookie.  But, I am going to ed-u-ma-kate you on Berger's Cookies.


They are an amazing cookie, with a plain cake-like cookie base and heaps of yummy fudge topping globbed lovingly on top.  They are super rich, and, as a result, are also self-limiting cookies - one is a meal on its own.

Bergers have been around since the early1800s and, unless you order on line, you can't get them too far from their home turf of Baltimore, MD.

They are a very politically astute cookie - just like me!

That Girl Opening Title

My Fanny on the American Government

Why is the American Government Closed?

As you can see from the illustration on the left, Congress is part of the Legislative Branch of the Government. The other two branches being inconsequential to both this discussion and to Congress.

According to the Constitution, Congress has several jobs to do. For today's lesson, we will be focusing on two specific Congressional responsibilities:  

1. Funding the government, and
2. Writing Laws

Article 1 of the US Constitution states that: "No money shall be drawn from the treasury (think Bank of America) but in consequence of appropriations made by law."  And we all know that you can't do anything these days when you don't have any money.

So, since it's Congress' job to write laws, it is Congress that is primarily responsible for ensuring that the US Government can keep spending money.  Now, there are certainly opinions out there about how the Government should spend its ... I mean, our money, but let's just set that little House of Horrors aside for the moment.  Think of an Appropriation as a line of credit with funny little caveats attached.  First, like the yogurt in your fridge, an Appropriation has an expiration date, after which, the Government needs more yogurt.  Second, because the US Government is big, we actually need approximately 12 Appropriations to fund everything.  All Appropriations lumped together are referred to as 'a Budget', and the Budget must be passed on or before the start of the new fiscal year.

Unfortunately, we must take a slight detour to define a 'fiscal year.'  The Federal Government, for the most part, operates on what is called a fiscal year (for budget purposes.)  The fiscal year, obviously, runs from October 1 through September 30.

Not surprisingly, it was Congress who established the fiscal year in the Congressional Budget Act of 1974.  At the time, Congress felt that there was just not a calendar out there that suited their purposes (having rejected the Gregorian Year, the Julian Year, the Revised Julian Year, the Persian Year, and the Congressional Year already defined for them in the Constitution.)  So, from 1974 onwards, the Budget needed to be passed by midnight on September 30th.

If you recall your School House Rock, the process of enacting an Appropriation is fairly straight forward (if fraught with pitfalls):

1. The Executive Branch tells Congress how much money it needs
2. The House ignores what the Executive Branch wants and proposes a new, smaller number
3. The Members of the House vote and (ideally) pass their 'version' of the bill
4. The House sends their passed bill to the Senate (typically by carrier pigeon with an acrimonious letter attached)
5. The Senate makes changes to the House's bill
6. The Members of the Senate vote and (ideally) pass their 'version' of the bill
7. The House and the Senate meet in Conference to work out the differences
8. Both the House and the Senate vote and (ideally) pass the reconciled or compromise (not a valued skill in Washington these days) bill
9. The compromise bill is then sent to the President who (ideally) passes the bill into law

But on September 30, 2013 both the House and the Senate had passed their versions of the Budget (step 6), but neither side is willing to (here's that problematic word again) C.O.M.P.R.O.M.I.S.E.  And so, no budget = no government, except for essential services (think Social Security.)

I'm Just a Bill

Government Shutdown Countdown

Day 7

In Congressional News, we go live to the Capitol to check in with our distinguished men and women at the Congressional Fight Club.  Yes, it's a melee, donkeys vs. elephants in a no-holds-barred cage fight, with both contenders claiming they will be the last man ... um, no.. last beast standing.

Frankly, both sides look the worse for wear.  Battered and beaten, each one seems to be looking for the white towel, belatedly realizing that they signed on for a Death Match.  Who will walk away, and who will be carried?  It's just too early to tell.

When asked to comment on the match so far, a member of the audience replied, "Well, I've got a nickle on the fat one with the long nose, but this fight looks more like a circus side show than a grudge match.  If I was at home, I would have changed the channel by now."

Well, doesn't say it all.

My Fanny on the American Government

Several of my zero followers have twerted (which is a tweet with attitude) me to ask what's this whole shutdown thing about.  Who's to blame?  What does Congress do anyway?

So, I have decided to start a civics section and call it My Fanny on the American Government.

I will fill it with totally uninteresting information about our government that everybody should know... but doesn't.

Look for the First Installment - What does Congress do Anyway -- coming soon.

Government Shutdown Countdown

 Day 6

And in Congressional News -- Speaker of the House John Boehner has admitted that the Republican proposal of funding the Government one service at a time is just not working.  As a result, he pulled together an impromptu meeting to strategize.

After a (surprisingly refreshing) closed-door meeting with the Tea Party Caucus, the Honey Lobby, and the Lemon Growers Association, Boehner has presented Democrats with a new "totally fresh" approach to breaking through this budget impasse.

The new proposal:  funding the government "one employee at a time."

 "It's never been done before, but it's an approach worth exploring," commented one Republican staff member.  "We're calling it Zero-Based Staffing.  The premise is totally sound."

The Speaker's Office is currently drafting letters to OMB, for distribution to each Executive Branch Agency, to provide the House with resumes for every employee, accompanied with an Excel spreadsheet identifying each employee by name, political party, and who they voted for in the last presidential election.

When asked to comment, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said "huh, what now?"